Nuru Massage

Nuru massage: A massage for Millennial’s

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Nuru Massage

As a millennial, I have never really thought much about what that means or what impact it has on my being. I’ve never really considered myself a millennial, not wanting to pigeon hole myself in to a box or to be defined by any social constructions laid on to me.

Having said that, the older I get the more I have mellowed and with each coming year I have come to accept that I am in no way an oddball, separate from the rest of my generation; in as much as I am now wiser enough to see that our social and physical environment does shape us and play a part on who we are.

What I’m getting to with all of this is that I discovered of late that most millennial adults do not get erotic massages. This was an interesting discovery for me. I think perhaps because of my Chinese heritage, and the fact that my father and brothers took me to a massage parlour in my late teens as a sort of rite of passage the whole thing, for me, felt normalised.

What did my friends think about me going for a Nuru massage in Central London?

For me, from my cultural background, I am aware of the benefits, the pleasure, the way it has helped me grow and how it has helped me understand my body and my sexuality. I learnt everything I know about sex from getting erotic massages, and I don’t mean the bees and the birds, I’m talking about understanding my own sexual energy and how to achieve supreme orgasms.

When I explained this to my friends they grew uncomfortable; it was then that I realised something – none of these guys knew a thing about sex, or pleasure or how to achieve a killer orgasm or even how to get their partners going. Sex remained a mystery to them, and they were all too embarrassed to admit it. So really by boycotting erotic massage parlours, with some kind of libertarian high-ground, all of them were denying themselves pleasure and knowledge that would positively benefit the rest of their lives.

That’s an age-old problem though, isn’t it? Being stubborn even when you know you’re wrong because the possibility of being proven wrong is too hard of a reality to face. I knew I couldn’t force my friends to open up about sex or force them to go to a parlour. So I left them to their ignorance and moved on.
Or at least I thought I had until one night I was vacating a parlour with my cousin who was blowing up about how amazing Nuru massage is, how exciting, how mind-blowing, how fun etc. and I thought to myself, Oh shit – Nuru is the millennial massage.

It’s exotic, it’s racy, it’s for thrill seekers, and it’s something I know all my friends would love. If any erotic massage styles were going to entice my friends it was going to be Nuru. It’s trended on Twitter before for god sake!

So with this in mind, I decided to book in all the lads for a cheeky Nuru…

Out of the six, two bailed on the plan but four was still enough to test out my theory. I asked them all to write an account afterwards- I’d told them about the blog and explained my theory about Nuru and they all obliged.

What did each one of them make of their Nuru massage?

Cal, 28: “Mate it was unreal, my hearts never thumped that hard and it was like I could see this light behind my eyes, I felt like I was on MD, no but softer than that – like I was on valium, but more than that. Oh I dunno, I guess I must have orgasmed mustn’t I? Christ 28 and only just had an orgasm. I wish I tried Nuru a long time ago.”

Tim, 27: “I’ve always been the most awkward about sex stuff haven’t I? I don’t really like to talk to you’s about it, let alone when I’m with a girl. I just close up and get embarrassed. Trying Nuru certainly took me out of my comfort zone and at first I thought, oh god what kind of nightmare have I got myself in to but then as I calmed down it turned in to a dream! Complete bliss! I’ve never been touched so sensitively or experienced such rushes of sexual energy. It was truly phenomenal.”
Oscar, 29: “Fair playmate, we were totally wrong. This Nuru stuff is insane. I feel like I’ll never be sad again now I know I can always just go and get a Nuru massage. It’s really cleared my head and made me feel all kinds of feelings. I feel glad to be alive? Is that weird? Is that how everyone feels after Nuru?”

  • To answer Oscar’s question: Yes, everyone feels glad to be alive after getting Nuru.

(Side note- my friends who failed to show up to their appointment went back after the others rave reviews, so happy millennial’s all round!)

If you would like to try our Nuru massage Central London services or want to book your friend a session as a treat then, by all means, give us a call today!