What is all this you’ve been hearing about Lingam massage?
It’s the new hit thing, isn’t it? The new trend to sweep Britain by storm… forget hot yoga or getting little fishes to pick off all the dry bits of skin on the bottom of your feet – this isn’t a fad, it’s a new way of thinking, it’s a movement. And it’s not new either; lingam massage has been around for centuries. It first made its presence known through Hindu and Buddhist teachings, the practice of lingam was first recorded in India and spread rapidly to parts of China, Japan and significantly had precedence in Thailand. The word lingam is a Sanskrit word, which translates into English as ‘penis’. In translation, it is not difficult to guess what lingam massage is all about… Having made waves across Asia it has now in 2018 officially arrived in the UK. In fact, some of the best lingam masseuses in the world have now settled in London, delivering the most authentic and highly sought after lingam massages from across the world.
How can a lingam massage improve your health?
But what’s the big deal, right? Well, see the magical thing about lingam is that unlike other lifestyle fads, lingam really does have some significant health benefits. It’s time to chuck out those over the counter sleeping pills and anti-stress and anxiety prescriptions and do as they do in the East – use natural remedies to get back to yourself.
Massage, in the Asian continents, has been the secret medicine that the West never really cottoned on to – or at least the working-class West never heard about. Do you think the Queen gets massages? Probably… My nan was the same age as the queen, had the same birthday, except my nan died about ten years ago and the queen is still kicking. I’m not saying massages have kept the queen alive but what I will say is that there is currently elitism in this country towards medicine and health care. We are becoming more like the US in that sense, meaning that now more than ever we need to start taking our own health into our own hands. The NHS is struggling, with lack of funds and resources; if you go to the doctor with stress he will throw a prescription at you. Really, a medical professional shouldn’t prescribe pills as a first resort. Pill popping is becoming an epidemic in this country and it is not a constructive way to deal with problems. By not dealing with the issues you have and masking them with drugs you are not giving yourself a long term chance of recovery. The answer? Massage.
The history of massage speaks for itself but understanding the specific benefits of different styles of massage can really help you get effective long term relief. This week we’re discussing the benefits of Lingam massage and I’ll be honest with you, I have been explicitly looking forward to discussing lingam as for me – it was lingam massage that changed my life. Lingam massage is ideal for anyone seeking relief from stress and wanting to empty there head of any negative pressures.
A colleague at work first recommended the style to me, I was going through a breakup and we had a big deadline. I just couldn’t concentrate. Sleepless nights, coming in to work with no appetite, low energy and a stack load of work to get through…I was on the edge. I was considering going to doctor but I hadn’t registered to surgery yet as I was in a new area and, to be honest, there didn’t seem to be enough hours in the day to get that sorted. I felt trapped. My other option was over the counter prescriptions or even black market drugs. I was a bit of a stoner in university but hadn’t touched it in years, it now makes me anxious and that on top of everything else did not seem appealing. I could have resorted to valium or Xanax but I am also aware of the awful withdrawal complications of getting into that. So Option C – take advice from a guy in work. Eric said his wife had been suffering from stress since being made redundant and had become overly anxious and unable to leave the house. After trying various methods of treatment his wife read about ‘Yoni’ massage – this is the sister massage of lingam- ‘yoni’ translates into English as ‘vagina’ – so you can guess what that one’s all about…
How was my lingam massage experience?
After one session his wife claimed to feel better, lighter, happier. You can’t argue with that right? So I went, I went to the same parlour as Eric’s wife which was called VIP Outcall Massage London. The lingam massage was like nothing I had ever experienced. I was a little sceptical I’ll admit. An ‘erotic massage’ parlour is perhaps the last place you’d find me. While I was waiting at the reception I felt like a spy, an imposter, I felt kind of silly. But after going into the private room and meeting my masseuse I was instantly at ease. I wish I could remember exactly how she massaged me, I know she used oils and that she managed to reduce every knot in my very tense back and leave my muscles feeling new and revived. It felt like my entire body was getting an MOT or like I was recharging. The longer the massage went on the stronger I felt, the better I felt.
And when she moved on to my lingam… that’s when things got real. She handled me in such a way I felt amazing. My mind was completely clear, all the stress, all the pressure from work, all the sadness of losing my love; it all vanished. I felt like I was a kid again, I felt like I was in a dream, floating, drifting. It was truly life changing.
And since then? Since then I felt much happier. Honestly, I would never look at prescription drugs again, all the right endorphins are there in your body; you just need to activate them. Getting a Japanese lingam massage brought me back to myself, and it’ll do the same for you.
And ladies? – Give Yoni massage a go!