Shout out to your ex! – 3 ways to get over your ex before the Christmas period
George Michael (rest in peace) once sang about the all-consuming grief that comes with being heartbroken over the festive season. Although George sings that after a year of heartache he had been able to move on and give his heart ‘to someone special’- that may be all fine and well but what he fails to mention is how he made it through twelve months of sadness… meeting someone new that’s fine! And of course we all know it takes time to heal but what isn’t discussed enough is how we deal with it, how to get over it and what steps are best to take. Sure we are all different but even as individuals when we are going through heartbreak we are defenceless and can experience feelings of displacement.
A break up can be an opportunity to shake up your life and become a better version of yourself. A break up can be an opportunity for you to focus on you and discover who you are. No matter how old you are, relationships shape you and when you’re with another person in a serious intimate way, even if you do not notice it, you are changing each other. So post-breakup is the perfect time to take a step back and reflect on who you are and what you want to be.
Taking yourself out of the game for a bit might sound like a no-brainer but it is certainly an easier said than done kind of situation. This is why I have constructed this list of 3 effective ways to get back to your post break up self.
If you follow this step by step over the next month by the time the festive season is in full swing you will be completely ready to move on and as George Michael did, by this Christmas you will be able to give your heart to ‘someone special, special…’
Step One – Get back into reading
When was the last time you opened a book? When was the last time you got properly lost in a story? If ever… We now live in a world consumed by social media. When you’re going through a break up social media is not a friend you want. No one puts a true and accurate version of their reality on social media and the worst thing to do when you’re feeling low is spend time looking at the best version of everyone you know. You especially need to remove yourself from social media if you have your ex on there – the truth is social media – whether you have your ex on it or not is an addictive and unhealthy platform that will lead you to stalk your ex and stay up to date with what they are up to. By watching your ex from the sidelines of social media you will never get over them. In the same way, smokers turn to patches and fatty’s turn to weight watcher ready meals, I believe the best replacement for someone who wants to get off social media for a while would be a good old book. The thing with reading a book is that you have to concentrate fully on it, you can’t be checking your phone and reading a novel at the same time – it’s a distraction and a positive one at that! Escapism really is an excellent healing technique to get into post-breakup. You will enrich yourself through reading, you will get a better perspective of others and you will get perspective on your own life.
Step Two: Buy yourself new clothes
Now I’m not saying you need to go out and buy yourself a whole new wardrobe- the last thing you should do during a break up is blow all your money. Getting into debt because you are feeling down and reckless will not do you any favours. However, people tend to get into troubling money situations after a break up on self-destructive purchases i.e- booze, drugs, etc. This is most damaging as it can affect not only your bank balance but also your physical and mental health. The correct thing to spend your money on when you’re feeling down is stuff to make yourself look and feel better. When you buy yourself a new shirt, blazer, a new pair of trousers, you look fresh, on top of everything. Even if you don’t feel tip top dressing well, it will give you the boost you need to get out of bed in the morning.
Step 3: Get an erotic massage
Now I know some of you will be surprised by this wildcard but believe you and me this isn’t anything wild… in fact in some parts of the world, traditionally in the East, getting an erotic massage at times of hardship is normal as going to your GP for a check-up. It is a form of therapy that is widely overlooked. Its dismissal in the West can only be down to Western ignorance and uncomfortable attitudes towards sex. I urge you to look past the judgement and consider how actually getting an erotic massage could seriously speed up your recovery post break up. Firstly after a break up you go from having regular sex to none at all, this means that your body feels a lack. Going on tinder or out on the town for a one night stand will never make you feel better. Part of you won’t feel ready and part of you will feel a second rejection when the one-night stand doesn’t go anywhere even if you aren’t ready. Also having sex with a drunk person isn’t going to be amazing, is it? It will be sloppy and rushed and will make you miss your ex more than anything.
An erotic massage is a service to yourself. You will be treated to a slow and sensual naked body massage which will relax you, allowing all tensions and stress to leave your body. This is important, especially after a breakup, because the first time with someone new will inevitably cause strong feelings to rise to the surface. The masseuse will be slow and gentle and make the hour all about soothing and pleasuring you.
Besides the no strings uncomplicated sexual pleasure, you may find getting an erotic massage off a sexual expert and trained masseuse will open your eyes to an exciting world of sexual play. Being in a committed relationship can result in a bland sex life- now is your chance to learn more about sex and what you like.
After getting an erotic massage you will feel free of your exes shackles. You will feel happier, healthier and excited about the world again.